Alternate API Evangelist

While immersed in a world of tech, reading and writing about real-world issues, I needed an outlet, somewhere I could publish my fictional thoughts and stories. I find it easier to get back to the every day grind of tech blogging, if I have a place to produce fictional work. So I created an alternate reality where I can blog about the weird stuff I think about each day.

In a fake news world it was difficult for me to continue writing on my alternate blogs, but I am beginning to find my way forward, and crave the release that fictional writing brings. I find design fiction endlessly valuable for when it comes to understanding APIs, AI, ML, and the other digital worlds that are emerging.

Nothing you read at alternate.apievangelist.com or my other site alternate.kinlane.com is real, if you are looking for my real world API work visit Kin Lane or API Evangelist, or API.Report to get a dose of reality.


The New Mind Control APIs That Salesforce Is Testing On Conference Attendees Is Available To Premier Partners #APIDesignFiction

The Dreamforce conference is happening this week in San Francisco, a flagship event for the Platform as a Service (PaaS) company. Salesforce is one of the original pioneers in API technology, allowing companies to empower their sales force, using the the latest in technology. Something that in 2015, Salesforce is taking this to the next level, with a handful of attendees, and partners in attendance at the conference.

Using smart pillow technology, Salesforce will be testing out a new set of subliminal mind control APIs. All attendees of the Dreamforce conference have agreed to be part of the tests, through their acceptance of the event terms of service, but only a small group of 500 individuals will actually be targeted. Exactly which attendees are selected will be a secret, even from the handful of 25 partners who will be involved in the test. 

Through carefully placed hotel pillows, targeted attendees will receive subliminal messages, transmitted via smart pillow APIs developed by Salesforce. Messages will be crafted in association with partners, testing out concepts of directing attendees what they will eat the next day, which sessions they are attending, where they will be going in the exhibit hall, and who they will be networking with The objective is to better understand how open the conference attendees are open to suggestion, in an conference environment.

While some partners of this mind control trial are just doing random tests to see if the technology works, others are looking to implement tasks that are in sync with their sales objectives. Ernst Stavro Blofeld, CEO of Next Generation Staffing Inc, says "the Salesforce test represents the future of industry, and the workforce--this weeks test is about seeing what we can accomplish at a conference, but represents what we will be able to achieve in our workforce on a daily basis."

Salesforce reminded us that this is just a simple test, but an important one that reflects the influence the company already has over its constituents. The company enjoys one of the most loyal base of business users, out of all leading software companies in the world, and this new approach to targeting a loyal base of users, is just the beginning of a new generation of API engineered influence.


We Are The Uber For The Internet of Things #APIDesignFiction

IoTNow is what it sounds. We are the Uber for the Internet of Things. You select the location, the device type, the duration, and one of network of thousands of technicians come out, install the device, and maintain it, for the duration of the installation.

We now have almost 150 different device types that can be deployed, with new types, and combinations added weekly. A specific device type could be a drone flying over the location with a camera for 20 minutes, all the way to a dedicated surveillance camera for weeks at time. We might be counting cars, people, or cows, or maybe monitoring the air quality for you--the sky is the limit.

The IotNow App, and the IoTNow technicians do all the work, assisting you in achieving your objectives. Each device you deploy comes with a unique identifier, and you will be able to access all data gathered via our web API, as soon as the device is turned on. You receive push notifications for all major events, from turning it on, to taking it down, directing you to our secure API for all relevant detail.

Our pricing varies based upon device type, and location. If you want a webcam on the top of Mt. Everest, it will be much more expensive than a people counter in Times Square. All pricing is calculated upfront, so you know what your device deployment will cost ahead of time, but you can also use our pricing calculator to help you figure this out at scale, on your own.

We look forward to serving your needs, when it comes to IoT deployment and maintenance. We guarantee our services will be much more convenient, efficient, and cheaper, than if you purchased the device and did the work yourself. Download the app via the iTunes store or Google play today.


DreamWorkers - Outsourcing Your Common Tasks To Other Peoples Dreams #APIDesignFiction

Through advancements in API definition and deployment technology, we now have the ability to pass basic ideas, concepts, and even tasks to people in their sleep. Here at DreamWorkers LLC, our core group of professionally trained dream workers have volunteered their sleep time, to get the work done that you need each day.

Using our cloud-based DreamWorker iPhone or Android app, you can define the parameters of the task, either one time or recurring, and your task will be assigned to a worker during their regular sleep shift. Via our patented DreamWorker Neural API, we've been able to pass small JSON objects to each work, and trained their brain to pass back any data, content, or other digital assets that are a result of the work.

Each morning when you show up for work, the task will be done. Think Amazon Mechanical Turk, but instead of being limited to the time, and workforce available, we have an infinite amount of dreamtime available, allowing us to scale the tasks you queue up, to be finished each evening--guaranteed.

We have an alternate program available as well, where you can sign up to accomplish your own work each evening, something that has allowed me to accomplish my regular API monitoring, and resulting weekly API.Report. As part of this program, DreamWorkers is free of charge, all we ask is that you let us allocate a portion of your nightly dreams to the regular queue of tasks that need accomplishing. You still get your work done, but we’ll have you doing the odd task here and there for our other clients.

Sign up today, we look forward to DreamWorkers being a regular part of your business activity—don’t just dream it, do it!


Software Defined Deprecation That Is In Real-Time Sync With Our Marketing And Sales #APIDesignFiction

In the past, keeping our deprecation strategies in sync with our overall product sales and marketing took a full time staff, but in 2019, we now have an automated, API driven software defined deprecation strategy that is in perfect sync, in real-time with our sales and marketing. In the past, we could only flick a switch, when we started marketing a new device, that would inject latency into all of our customers devices--this is a brand new age of connected device sales.

With our new system, we can personalize hardware deprecation scenarios, down to the user, and specific feature. The latest device release is a good example. The 7Z line of our devices allow for faster uploading, and much larger file size, so on all of the 6Z customers, we can actually slow their image uploads, increase error rates, and many more perceived deprecation scenarios, in real-time. The real-time portion, actually syncs these personalized events, with advertising events a user is targeted with. We can tell if a user has seen the new 7Z line commercial on TV or the web, and within 30 minutes, we can execute a deprecation scenario--bringing the pain home.

The operating system for all our devices have this patent pending, Software Defined Deprecation (SDD) layer, which using its APIs connects with the real-time advertising, and marketing layer. For most of a devices life, SDD will not be leveraged, but as soon as sales or marketing efforts kick off, SDD can come into play at the individual level, regional, or specific demographic level. We are still crunching the latest sales figures, and the role SDD has played in generating sales for the 7Z line, but we are confident in Q4 we should be able to achieve 40% conversion rates with customers, purely based upon perceived SDD events.

SDD is no longer a static feature you turn on and off in devices, it is now deeply woven into how we market and sell our Internet connected devices, making earlier concept of planned obsolescence a real-time experience, that we can personalize, target, and implement to optimize our sales. With over 100 devices left in our product catalog, where we can apply the next gen SDD technology, the opportunities for new revenue is unlimited in coming years.


How We Use The Standard Black Box API For Drone Enforcement #APIDesignFiction

My name is Dirk Alan, I’m an official black box drone inspector for the FAA. I based in Los Angeles, in charge of monitoring the region for drone activivity from Long Beach up to Mailbu. If a drone comes down, is detained, or for any other reasons ends up in custody, I’m called in to retrieve it and figure out what fines need to leveraged against the pilot, and whether or not equipment, and data is impounded.

The first thing I do after picking up a drone is connect my black app on my mobile device to the Drones blackbox API. All drones in the US are required to have a black box that records location, and other activity that occurs via the drone technology, like pictures, and temperature taken. Each drones black box also contains any manufacturer details, who originally sold the drone, and who is the current registered owner. Per the 2018 Drone Act, all drones are required to have a standard blackbox API definition, underlying storage definition, and record ALL activity that occurs.

Not all drones I pick up have a black box. Only about 50% of the drones I am called in to pick up have the technolgoy, something we are looking to evolve. One site in El Segundo, near LAX is setup as a drone intercept site, where we actively scan flying drones, by sending a blackbox API request, and if no response is received within a timely manner, anti-drone technology is used to bring the drone down. The agency is hoping the risk of having drones taken, and having them linked back to the owner, will push drone operators to comply.

Most of the time, the drones we detain, are just video drones, which when impounded, we store all video in the cloud for 5 years, or longer if a case is pending around a drone. increasingly drones also have a payload, which is usually drugs, but can also be cash, paper messages, USB sticks, and any other random things not worth mentioning. With the introduction of anti-drone technology, and more drone detainment activity, we expect to have more data, giving a better picture of what types of payloads drones are being used to transport.

Ultimately it is the drone API layer that is providing the biggest assistance to our efforts. Having a standard interface, and storage model as changed how we talk with Drones, and having the long range wireless access that many drone models are using for communicating with drones, has allowed us to ping for the presence of the black box API—giving us a single red flag for identifying illicit drone activity. Next up is standardizing how cameras, weather instruments, sensors, and other drone tech communicate, providing a single API model that can be used across all drone equipment and operations--remotely.


Introducing You To The Universal Privilege API

Got Privelege

After signing a brand new deal with Google, we feel confident that now is the time to introduce you to our new Universal Privilege API®. With partners including Google, Amazon, Facebook, Twitter, Microsoft, Yahoo, and many others, the Universal Privilege API® now provides you with the access you will need to fully manage your online persona(s).

Technology providers retain a lot of information about you—your keystrokes, locations, photos, videos, and much more. With your Universal Privilege API® access, you don't just have access to view all of this information, you have access to remove it from the system. Not all your information will be deletable by default, with some areas like law enforcement, government, and other more restricted areas, it will require an additional premium fee.

As more of our physical world moves online, through our web surfing, usage of mobile devices, and camera surveillance, vehicle tracking, and law enforcement activity, the need to take control over your data is only going to become more imperative. Using the Universal Privilege API® you can do this today, keeping those damaging surveillance photos, or possibly your Uber usage history from becoming public knowledge.

Once you information is out there, you can't take back, and the Universal Privilege API® lets you address problems before they even occur. The Universal Privilege API® is not available to everyone, and the fact that you are reading this means you have access to a layer of the Internet, meant only for less than .01% of the world. For a monthly subscription you can have access to all of your online data that is generated on about 85% of the platforms available online today.

Do not be caught unprotected, exercise your privilege today, and activate your Universal Privilege API® account today.


Personalized Enforcement Of Internet Of Things Development Standards #APIDesignFiction

My name is John Davis, I head up the FTCs Internet of Things (IoT) Development Standards Enforcement Group. For over 5 years now I have overseen the design, deployment, enhancement and enforcement of our federal government IoT development standard body.

In the years between 2015 and 2020 we have seen a wild west in the development of Internet of Things devices, platforms, and supporting applications. Anything you could imagine, and some things you can't imaging, have been wired up to the Internet, ushering in a new era of manufacturing. While some of these new products provide clear value to consumers, the majority of them do not, and some are even dangerous, or seriously compromise privacy, and the security of their consumers.

We were getting complaints of baby monitors being openly accessible online, people’s watches tracking their every move and action in a voyeuristic way, and people’s automobiles openly sharing every stop, turn you take, and places you go. Many IoT developers have let their imagination get the best of them when building these new devices, and it is our job to help reign them in, and help keep platforms secure, and applications protecting consumers privacy, and safety by default.

The Internet of Things (IoT) Development Standards Enforcement Group (IoTDSEG) has developed its own IoT platform, using the Pavlok watch as an enforcement endpoint. In 2020, if you want to openly sell an IoT device on the public market you have to be certified as an IoTDSEG member, and when your platform, APIs, and application is ready you will have get certified with IoTDSEG, which at this time IoTDSEG, using the Pavlok API, will add an “enforcement layer” to every IoT solution.

The IoTDSEG enforcement layer provides a direct connect from every device connected to a developers platforms, and when any consumer of their devices, and users of their applications, privacy or safety is put in question, the developer will receive a "physical push notification". Each “enforcement episode” that occurs is logged in our central database, and signal is sent to each developers wrist device. For minor infractions a small electrical shock is sent, and for larger a sustained, higher voltage charge is sent.

If you want to be an IoT developer you must be certified with IoTDSEG, and wear your enforcement watch at all times. It is important that you feel the pain of your IoT consumers. The american people have voted unanimously that IoT is here to stay, but effective policing is necessary to keep the quality of service of these Internet connected devices extremely high, protecting the security, and privacy of every individual who uses IoT in their life.


Technologists Develop New Polymer That Binds And Lubricates At The Same Time #APIDesignFiction

We never thought it was possible, but over the last ten years a new breed of software engineers have organically developed a new technical polymer that both acts as glue, holding together architectural components, while simultaneously acting as a lubricant between not just the technical components, but the business and political elements that make businesses operate and new global markets work.

This new polymer is called APIs, and while it is just an evolution of earlier versions, the current iteration is where we are seeing these seemingly competing characteristics exist. Like a biological ecosystem, the balance that makes this possible is delicate and while is relatively easy to achieve, is also very delicate and can begin to break down the polymer, emphasizing its characteristic as a glue, or even a runaway lubricant.

Currently APIs are an open technology that can be put to use by any company, with no licensing or fees. It will be very telling to see how different companies put APIs to use, and whether this new material can be applied in a way that maintains the balance necessary to achieve both binding and lubricating of business operations. While many companies will be able to achieve, many more will fail, either seizing up their operations by binding elements to tightly, or be destroyed by the runaway operations that can maintain any structure, drowning in a sea of lubricant.


Internet of Things Crimes: Nest Burglars #APIDesignFiction

The big data generated by the Internet of Things provides a lot of value in everyday life. One example of this is in my career, as a common burglar. I never used to think of myself as a criminal, but as an application developer for Internet of Things devices I saw so much opportunity—I couldn't help myself.

In my regular “job” I build complimentary apps to the growing number of smart home thermostats that are emerging like the Nest. These apps use the Nest API to extend features and functionality to homeowners who have the smart thermostats installed in their home.

One day after building a dashboard with a comprehensive set of analytics, displaying common home energy use patterns, I noticed a clear pattern—when users were home and when they were not. Users always adjust their home energy consumption to be more efficient when they are not home, and for me it was easy to see the times they weren’t home, and I was able to predict the patterns for 80% of users.

Me and my business partners started going out to some of these houses to test our assumptions, and sure enough..we were right. In some cases we even knew if the neighbors were home, giving us a huge advantage if we were deciding to actually break into a house.

After several months, we decided to go for it, and broke into our first house. It was a piece of cake! Before too long we were doing two a week, and amassed a huge fortune in coins, jewelry and other valuables. We never went for big items, just the small most valuable of possessions.

We tend to stick with higher-end houses that we know would have insurance, and only took things that could be easily replied. We’ve been doing this for 2 years now, and nobody has caught on. The Internet of things is more than just a home convenience, consumers are so blinded by the potential for convenience they don’t even see that these devices make them more vulnerable to criminals like us.